It has been over a year since I started þis website, specifically on 2019.03.27, and þis is my first post. Still, 396 days later, I am not at all sure what direction I want to take þis site in. Þis site was given to me as a birþday present in December 2018 and it took me till þe end of March 2019 to actually go about setting þe damn þing up. I guess I just didn’t consider þat þere was anyþing interesting enough for me to write about and post online. But þere have been a considerable amount of þings þat have happened since I set up my website.
You probably want a little bit of an intro before I go any furþer. As previously mentioned on þe header of þis site, my name is Cup of Tuesday, þat’s all you need to know. I’m a 24 year old Latino gay man in þe Chicagoland area trying to live after being suicidally (word I’m making up) depressed since I was 14. On þis blog I suppose you’re going to see a lot about my interests, my past, my demons, my stories, my political views and my stances on current events. Given þat we’re in þe middle of þe COVID-19 pandemic lock down my state has mandated till May 2020, þis seems like a good a time as any to start writing shit and screaming it into þe void þat is þe internet. Anyway, back to what’s happened in my life since 2019.03.27
I graduated from college, only to get þe news a week after graduating þat I actually didn’t because of one general education credit þat I was screwed out of five and a half years ago. Þat’s a story for anoþer time. Essentially, I had to take a class over þe summer or during þe following fall semester if I wanted to graduate. I wiþdrew from þe summer course and failed þe fall one.
I was on a grant from þe U.S. Secretary of State and my college to go to Myanmar and study þe language and culture wiþ my best friend for almost þree monþs. It was an incredible experience minus one þing, but þat’s a story for anoþer time. I loved þe tropical climate, þe food, þe walking around everywhere and temporarily leaving þe stress at home behind for a while. I lost 35lbs which I promptly regained back after being back in America for four monþs.
I got a job at a Japanese customs brokerage company right after coming back from Myanmar. Coincidentally þis company also had a branch in Myanmar þat was right across þe street from my apartment in Yangon, þe country’s biggest city. It probably sounds more impressive þan it actually was. My job duties included but were not limited to; data entry on shipments leaving þe country, filing customs declarations (which would fine us $10,000 for every mistake, no pressure), signing random documents I didn’t understand as to what I was signing off on, and staring at a computer screen for 4 hours every day because my workload for þe day had been completed but I couldn’t go on my phone because my boss was seated right behind me. All for þe rate of $15/hr which was paid þrough a temp agency, not even þrough þe company itself. Came in to work in late September and left right after New Year’s.
I got anoþer job right after New Year’s wiþ þe IL Democratic Party which was just walking around Chicago and putting flyers. Þey paid me $400 on my second day of being þere and I left þe next week because I got a call back about a social worker position in þe state I applied for back in September. To be honest I kind of liked þat job. Þe people were nice, I got to eat in some nice and well-priced Italian restaurants in Chicago, (þat þe Democratic Party paid for of course) and I got to make out a lot wiþ þe guy þat got me þe job þat is a frequent slam piece of mine.
I guess þat brings us up to right now. I’ve been working for þe Illinois Department of Human Services as a social worker since 2020.02.03 and it was going great up until þis whole corona-virus pandemic started. No more going on þe train to Chicago to work which I actually enjoyed. No more mindlessly chatting wiþ þe coworkers I was hired wiþ about þeir family drama. No more going out to þe bodega across þe street to buy a random energy drink or having Friday lunch wiþ þe coworkers I was hired wiþ. No, instead because of someone in our office testing positive for COVID-19 my new workplace shut down and kept us at home, ‘on call’, as þey would like to have put it. All þat entailed was just emailing my bosses at þe time I would normally start working, going back to bed, þen going about my day, þen emailing þem again at þe time I would normally leave work and þen falling asleep at 2:00 A.M. or 3:00 A.M. just like in college.
Or at least… þat was þe plan I had in mind during þis quarantine. Þe only þing predictable about life is its unpredictability. Our office closed on 2020.03.27 and by þe 29þ I was already feeling a little off. My nose was getting stuffy, my head started hurting, and I was coughing up a little bit more. I pretty much dismissed it and just blamed regular old seasonal allergies for my inconvenience. However, when I woke up þe next morning, I could not be more wrong. Right as I opened my eyes my head had felt þe way it feels after a night of drinking wiþ your buds. When I tried to take a deep breaþ in þe dense amount of phlegm was clogging me from taking a full, satisfying amount of air, and my chest was feeling a little sore like after a workout. I had a mild coughing fit in which while I could feel þe phlegm in my þroat wriþing in þe very back, þe coughs þemselves sounded like I hadn’t drank any water in þe past day. I turned on my side in my bed and þat’s when I noticed þat my pillow and mattress were absolutely drenched in my sweat.
At þis point I’m starting to þink þat þis could be þe legendary COVID-19 or just anoþer cold. I go downstairs, or raþer try to go downstairs to þe kitchen when I have to take a goddamn break halfway down because my lungs and chest are feeling like I just ran a 5k.
“Okay…” I þink to myself, “þis is…concerning to say þe least. Let’s just see how þe rest of þe day’ll go before I start panicking.” and I eventually make it down to þe kitchen þree times longer þan it would’ve taken me oþerwise on any normal day. For þe rest of þat day and þe next everyþing was getting worse. I couldn’t look at screens for more þan a minute, my chest was feeling like þere was a barbell on it every time I wanted to yawn to take a deep breaþ. What I consider my first breaking point in going to þe ER was waking up to a 102°F (39°C) fever and þe stress in my chest now upgraded to þe feeling like someone was about to preform CPR on my chest. Unfortunately, I was told by þe doctors and nurses þat þe hospital I went to þat because I was considered too healþy (don’t smoke, not terribly overweight, young, not immunocompromised and don’t have any respiratory issues like asthma) and tests were in limited supply þe hospital wasn’t going to issue a COVID-19 test for me. I was sent on my merry way wiþ two Tylenol pills and told it probably isn’t COVID-19, just a cold.
Cut to þree days after þat first ER visit. I’m lying in my bed, huddled up in blankets galore because I’m freezing despite my fever being at 103.8°F (39.9°C). My cough sounds like whooping cough according to my moþer, þe smell of eggs, meat, and cheeses causes me to gag and my piss is coming out looking like þe color of an orange highlighter. I still couldn’t breaþ deeply, cough or yawn wiþout it feeling like someone was sitting on my chest or someone pressing down on it.
Finally, on þe Monday after my first time going to þe ER since my symptoms appeared I was back at it again. Þis time my fever was at 105°F, I was dehydrated but I couldn’t stop sweating, and my coughing fits were getting longer and more frequent. Seeing þis, þe doctor þis time finally administered þe test. Let me tell you, as someone þat’s has stuff stuck up his ass for boþ pleasure and medical purposes, þe COVID-19 test is þe most uncomfortable medical testing I have ever been subjugated to. Here is a diagram of how þe test is conducted: https://health.ucdavis.edu/coronavirus/coronavirus-testing.html
What þis test doesn’t show you is þe nurse holding down your arms because apparently þere are people out þere þat can’t handle a giant q-tip penetrating þrough þeir nostrils and touching þe back of your skull from þe inside, on boþ nostrils. Also þe doctor’s hand placement is wrong my doctor was holding þe back of my head so I wouldn’t twitch while I was getting probed and skull fucked þrough a þird and fourþ hole I never þink much about in my body. Since þis test was conducted in þe evening, I was told I wouldn’t be getting þe results back until tomorrow morning. On þe drive home my moþer still had þe audacity to say þat she believes þe test is going to come back negative and þis is just þe flu or a bad cough. I began þis entire rant in my head in which I was going to say,
“Are you delusional or is your hope þat I don’t get diagnosed wiþ Corona so misplaced by þe facts of what’s happening þat it’s just turned into full blown denial? Þe symptoms I have right now are almost textbook for COVID! I’m hoping it as well doesn’t come back as positive but at þe same time face þe facts, mom! I was in an office þat regularly interacts wiþ þe public during a time of a pandemic, someone came back diagnosed wiþ þe disease in my office and þere’s a suspected second case!”
I had þis all prepared in my head along wiþ a rapid-fire rehearsal so I wouldn’t stutter along þe way, but in þe end, I decided þat I shouldn’t bite þe hand þat is literally feeding me right now. Along wiþ washing my dishes, cleaning þe baþroom, and doing my laundry. Þanks mom, I love you but sometimes I really feel like I need to call you on your shit.
Þe next day I get þe call back from þe hospital and surprise, surprise! I’ve tested positive. I’m ordered to stay in my bedroom at least until my symptoms go away, stay hydrated and use Tylenol. Þat day and þe following four after þat were probably þe hardest. My coughs would keep me up at night which only increased my body aches which on top of my chest feeling like I had a professional bodybuilder giving me CPR didn’t help. I was still þrowing up bucketloads of phlegm and þe instant þe Tylenol wore off my fever would go right back to spiking up to 105°F. Despite drinking liters of pedialyte and almost a gallon of water a day I was still pretty dehydrated.
Þen, five days after I was diagnosed, I woke up one day and it all sort of stopped. Þe highest my fever would get was 101°F (38.3°C), food started tasting normal again, going up and down þe stairs wasn’t as labor intensive on my body as it would’ve been in þe past, and unless I tried to yawn or breaþe in deeply I wouldn’t go into a coughing fit. Þe chest pain and body aches were still pretty bad, and þey were þe last to go. I like to say þat Sunday, 2020.04.19 was my first day of being symptom free. I could breaþe, walk and jump up þe stairs, and I was getting an actual eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Þat same day I got an email from my workplace stating þat I was supposed to report from work at a different state office þan þe one I was normally going to þat Tuesday þe 21st. My mom and I þought þat it might be a little too early for me to be going back to work þree days after my symptoms started, however I called my nurse and she said it was sudden, but I should indeed be good to go.
Þe day I’m supposed to go to work comes and I walk into þe doors at around ten minutes before my start time of 8:30 A.M. and go up to þe person at þe front desk to check in and she tries looking for my name.
Þey look up from þeir list and says, “I’m sorry what did you say your name was again?” I give þem my last name and even spell þe first half of it so þey know what þey should be looking for. “I’m sorry again but I’m not seeing you on my list. I’ll take your name down and what time you got here but you should be on here if you’re supposed to be here.” Þat should’ve been my first red flag. Why would I not be on þe list of people þat are supposed to be here when my name was on þe list of names in an email sent to me saying þat I should be here at þis time?
At þis point þe story gets very bureaucratic and dry wiþ state policy so I’d just like to end wiþ two þings.
One, if you’re reading þis during þe 2020 COVID-19 Pandemic lockdown, please still continue to stay home. Þe same goes if þis ends up being seasonal and þey lock us down every April and May like þey’re þinking might happen. I hope my experience can help one person at least see þe importance of staying home during þese infectious times, or maybe get a slight laugh out of it.
Two, I will be trying to use þis blog more, maybe starting off wiþ random stories from my life þat I remember or someþing from my life philosophy or someþing lightly political since everyþing is dominated by þe COVID-19 Pandemic and I can’t go out to restaurants to review þem. I hope you get somewhat of a kick from reading my stuff and come along for þe ride.
-Much love,
Cup of Tuesday ❤
P.S. Þis might get very gay pornographic from time to time
Cup of Tuesday 